Okay, now I’m mad. I have a friend who got a postcard notice from Direct Buy that she had been selected to receive a free tablet computer complete with Android software, camera and WiFi - and if she called the local number in 72 hours she also got a $100 dining card.  Great!

So she called the number and learned that all she had to do was attend a 90 minute seminar about how Direct Buy can save her and her family tons of money. No problem. She was willing to go to listen to the sales pitch. Then the guy told her he just needed to ask a few questions.

“Are you between the ages of 25 and 45?” NO. “Are you between the ages of 45 and 65?” NO. “Are you over 65?” YES. “Is your income under $25,000 a year or between $25,000 and $50,000 or....” UNDER $25,000. “Oh.”

My friend is 69 and lives on Social Security. Well, my dear, without knowing what expenses she has and not understanding that 69 is the new 49, the young man went strictly by the rules printed on his little script. He apologized profusely and told her she isn’t eligible. A champion bowler, she should take her bowling ball and throw it through Direct Buy’s front door!

So why did they send her the “offer” in the first place? She told me she is used to receiving the dinner invitations from hearing aid companies and the Scooter Store sends regular notices about how easy it is to obtain “freedom” with a scooter. Obviously somebody knows she is over 65. But she  just might win the lottery and decide to remodel her house with items from Direct Buy.

She wasn’t nearly as upset as I was when she told me about it.  “Look,” she said, “Getting old ain’t for sissies. You have to get your jollies where you can.” Jollies? What jollies?

“Play the system,” she advised. “Go to Publix on Wednesday and get your 5% off. Go to Goodwill on Tuesday and get your 25% off. Always ask about a senior discount and then grin a little because you are sort of getting paid for being old.”

I’m still mad that she didn’t get that little computer because she already has something similar and would probably have given the Direct Buy one to me and I really need one.